Awkwardly Ary

This is what I preformed last night at the farewell dinner. It’s supposed to be sung to Vanessa Carlton’s White Houses. I am going to miss it so much here. 

Crashed on a bunk when I moved in

A little Kasteel in The Netherlands

Stayed up all night and sleep all day

The stupid jet lag had its way

Now we’re in the Barberetta 85 of us

Pretty eyed, boys girls I’m going to die to trust

I am going to get a fine

Cause I stole the Vorebogen Toogen sign

Dojna screams out in her Donja voice

And when Rene speaks he yeahs and yeah

And beer through the nose on at Sophies Lounge

And I’m so excited I haven’t spoken (can’t speak Dutch!)

Dulcia’s so pretty and like Dumbledore

Maybe the Duke is more clever and handsome then her

The semester is all in bloom, winter is ending soon

It’s all right and it’s nice to be here right now

Cause I love Europe in the Springtime

At Kasteel Well

Maybe I’m a little bitter over OHRL

Cause they kicked us out and caused major hell

And the black swans died off 1 by 1

I guess they weren’t perfect after all

We snuck past the Kasteel to stare at the stars

Making sure we didn’t get hit by bikes or cars

Boy it’s going way to fast

This spring is to sweet to last

It’s alright, I loved American Night

Although being a DJ was always a fight

At Kasteel Well

Frans the Drug Lord of the Netherlands

Took my bike I almost never saw it again

At Kasteel Well

The Town of Well, hard to explain

Nothing’s open past 5 or 6 PM

And on a cloudy day we all pout and say

I wish I could go out and play

Maybe you will al be faster then me

Let’s not give each other up so easily

We are the only Kasteel kids of Spring 11

And I have to say it was heaven

Tomorrow we go and we will not be back here again

We’ll be gone as the day will fade on

Kasteel Well

I love, put all the bad things in the past

In my heart it the 85 of us

At Kasteel Well

And you, maybe you’ll remember the Goats

And the girl who went beyond the moat

At Kasteel Well

At Kasteel Well

• Bells fucking waking me up at random hours and going on for 30 minutes.
• Falling out of a bunk bed post-American Night.
• Seeing OSA and having Donja yell at Oyku.
• Eating at the DH here…RICE CAKES AT EVERY MEAL Y’ALL.
• Travelling every weekend and “being cultured” and what-not.
• TAKING A MOTHER FUCKING RYAN AIR FLIGHT. WORD UP.
• Film an episode of the greatest web-series ever.
• Being stalked by ducks at 2AM.
• Meeting new people at hostels.
• Watching swans poop/mate instead of doing homework since that’s obviously a better idea.
• KASTEELNET and waiting 15-20 minutes for a 5 minute clip to load on Youtube.
• Going to Spar and eating their mixed nuts. Nutella in a tube.
• Using Monopoly-Prague money.
• Living in a Kasteel with 2 moats. 2. Moats.
• Living with 3 amazing, wonderful, loud, nerdy girls in one cracked room in a Kasteel in Europe.

As we are near the end of my time here at the Kasteel, I’ve started to notice something that bothers me.

People that complain about the food here.

I come from a family that prides in food, but that does NOT mean I am a food snob. It’s actually the opposite: I am now appreciative of what I eat and will try new things.

Nelly, Stefan and Yanto work really hard to make sure all 85 of us are fed each day. They are accommodating to vegetarians and are some of the nicest people I have ever met. That being said, there is 85 of us and they have to make one main meal option because it’s stupid to make like 4 different options that maybe 5 people will eat.

We are all humans and we dislike things. So if you don’t like a meal, I won’t kill you. However, if you CONSTANTLY complain about the food I am actually ready to shank you. I mean seriously, be appreciative of what you have. There is 85 of us and about 5-6 people working at the DH. They can’t please everyone, but you have to at least give them credit for trying.

I understand if you’re a picky eater, but there has to be like ONE thing they’ve served you’ve enjoyed.

So let’s all take the last 5 days here and actually be APPRECIATIVE of what we have. We are in Europe, got to see many things and let’s thank the DH staff for all they have done this semester.

And if you don’t like the meal, make a fucking sandwich or make a fucking salad and then order from Bergen’s later. But keep your goddamn mouth shut and don’t complain.

Try to appreciate.

</rant>

This isn’t as well worded as I wanted it to be.

It’s no secret that I love it here and when next Tuesday rolls around I will be bawling my eyes out cause I have to say goodbye.

However, there are many things that I miss about the United States and why I am excited to go home.

I MISS:

• Burritos/Mexican Food- The Kasteel DH is awesome and I love the staff. But I seriously need more Mexican food in my life.
• Working Internet- I can actually catch up on all my television shows/watch Youtube Clips.
• Television- Working on, making, watching TV.
• My Family- Haven’t seen them in 3 months. I miss them terribly. And my mothers cooking. But mostly them. I actually won’t be seeing them for another 14 days. Le Sigh.
• My Husband- I get to see him soon and I missed him.
• My Friends- I love all 85 people here and would give my life to them. However, 85 people in a small Castle for 3 months can be overwhelming. I really miss my home/school friends and I can’t wait for them to light up my life again! Also, I can imagine every single reunion…and guys…it’s going to be spectacular.
• Being Tech-y/Lighting-y- I am a studio major for a reason. Cope me up in A for hours. Let me push buttons. Let me hang lights. I miss the feel of the studios, the cold air when air conditioning is working in the studio, getting frostbite in control A, yelling at lights, yelling at people, carrying my wrench and gloves where ever I go. I love field production, but I need a break.
• My Electric Guitar- I have so many things I want to play on it. Drop D it and play through All We Know Is Falling is first.
• Dunkin Doughnuts- I would KILL for an Iced Coffee/Everything bagel right now. KILL.
• USD/Bank of America- No more ATM/conversion fees. WOO.
• Japanese Food/Milk Tea- So good. I miss it so much. 

So as you can see, food is always on my mind. I am going to miss the weather, the staff, my professors, the town of Well, the Kasteel…but DANG I’m starting to get ready.

I hope we have burritos tonight.

I realized I skipped Barcelona. Oh well, you all will deal.

Sum up Barcelona:

• It was Gaudi-licious
• The food/Dino’s was so delicious
• I can’t go to clubs
• Cause they gave me waaay to much bub.

Get all of the musical references?

ANYWAY. This isn’t another I DIDTHISANDTHIS post cause I have a feeling my mother is the only one who reads this.

This is about family, love and a piece of clothing.

I needed a leather jacket. Well, “needed” is a strong word. I wanted one. I mean my costume would be 100x more badass if I had it. Punk rock Cheshire Cat NEEDED one.

2009 was an odd year for me. So of course, Anime Boston was going to be normal. Right? Er, wrong. Three days before the con, still had no jacket. My costume felt…incomplete. That the persona I created for the Cheshire Cat- sly, bitchy, cool- wouldn’t feel right.

Actually, the truth is I think that I just wanted to attract a person. I wanted to look badass, for them. Impress them. Protect them.

I don’t remember what brought me to the front closet in my house. Instinct? I think I was looking for face paint to paint my smile on. Out front closet holds all of the Halloween décor, old tennis gear, face paint and old jackets. One time I found my uncle’s 1980’s tennis jacket that I wear all the time when I am home. It’s almost like a treasure chest. On a sunny day I rummaged through looking for the face paint, my hand felt something on one of the hangers.

It felt soft and foreign. I took it off the hanger and my mouth dropped. It was a leather jacket. Black, it had the prettiest interior. The back was carved and designed: a one of a kind jacket. Obliviously abandoned by someone in my family it looked lonely. I placed it on and it fit perfectly.

Later in the day I walked into my mother’s office.

“Where did you find that?”

“In the closet downstairs, whose is it?”

“Oh, it’s your Grandma’s. She got it in Firenze years ago. You can keep it if you want.”

I was ecstatic. A leather jacket of my own! AN ITALIAN LEATHER JACKET. I proudly wore it for the next few days. At my senior internships, people loved it. So different. So cool. My grandmother saw me wearing it and she thought it was hilarious to see it again.

“Those jackets last forever.”

Whenever I wore the jacket, I felt an instant connection to my Italian roots. I imagined my Grandmother 20 years prior purchasing this jacket at a crowded market in Firenze. Bartering in Italian with the salesman. Asking where he was from, how he came to Firenze. I loved these vivid memories made up in my head.

Of course I was bringing it to Anime Boston 2009. I looked so perfect in it; and it matched my painted smile. Worked with my “hooker boots”. My friends thought I was going to lose it but it never lost my sight.

I never attracted the person. They liked someone else. When they were cold, I let them borrow the jacket. They declined. I gave them my arms when they were sad. They declined. Basically, I was a 17 year-old oblivious young girl. But when I wore the jacket, I felt like I could take the world.

I still have that jacket and I still feel a connection to my Grandma. It makes me feel special and unique. I want my grandchildren to have the same experience; have a jacket that contains so many memories from Anime Boston, college and the past from my Grandparents.

This past weekend, I went to Firenze. I bought my own leather jacket from the same marketplace my Grandma had gone. I bartered with the saleswoman (got an AMAZING deal) and talked to her about where she was from.

Hopefully I can give this to my grandchildren to find in a closet and feel great in. Go to special places in. Get heartbroken and woo people in.

I know this new jacket has memories already; Firenze, Kasteel Well and will also have…

The new memories of Anime Boston 2011.

Funny how things work out.

My Grandma’s Jacket

Mine.